Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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