I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I didn't notice because vodka
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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