Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Randomize
