I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
