he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Randomize
