and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
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