I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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