so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
