Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
