You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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