You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
