so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
