I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Randomize
