awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
