I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
