after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
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