oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
