end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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