This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
