I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
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