didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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