my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
