They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
you had me at cake vodka
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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