I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
