It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
