Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Randomize
