Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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