we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
