Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
