I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
