I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
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