I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
