Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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