i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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