Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
