the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Randomize
