Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
we have pet lesbian snakes
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
