The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
