I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
