Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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