ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
