but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
