Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
