Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
