she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
It's just like the Real World with babies
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
