i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
