ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
