Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
