It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
