A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
